Deb Milne-O’Brien was big HF community supporter. The obituary on Deb Milne-O’Brien is on page 8. Photo provided by the family
BY DEB AND TIM SMITH
It was Christmas 2019 when we first met Deb Milne-O’Brien. We were at Flaherty’s for an event and she approached us and asked if we would be interested in doing a presentation for the senior citizens at Pinehurst where she was serving as an activities director. Our first book was out at the time so we geared up our show to entertain the local audience.
That first book was called The Beatles, the Bible, and Manson, which might seem like a quirky topic for a senior citizens group but of the dozens of presentations we’ve performed since that one, it remains one of our most memorable and well received. The trigger seemed to be for seniors of that era, those events we were describing from that sultry summer of 1969 were events from the prime of their lives. They loved it!
We stayed in contact with Deb after that and she became a frequent supplier of literary feedback for our books, as well as our articles for the Sentinel. She told us one story we liked so much we actually included it on the back cover of a subsequent book. Her story went like this … These authors are hilarious and one-of-a-kind which I discovered while I was the activities director at a seniors’ center. When they came in to do a presentation on their first book they totally stole the show. It was a memorable performance which prompted a heartfelt reaction on the part of our members.
During my introduction I shared with my group a true story that had occurred a few weeks earlier. I was in my backyard reading the Smiths’ book and literally laughing out loud. How loud? So loud that my backyard neighbor heard me, came and leaned over my fence, and asked me what in the world was so funny. All I did was hold up the book and he said, “I’ve seen that book and heard about that book.”
So while I did do a nice job of warming up the audience for them, as I said before, they truly stole the show! They are as funny on the written page as they are in person, and don’t say I didn’t warn you, prepare yourself to absolutely love this book!
Deb Milne O’Brien
So life went on like the proverbial box of chocolates until the fall of last year. On September 16, Ray Milne, father of Deb and Honeoye Falls Mayor Rick Milne, passed away. The majority of our communiqués with Deb took place through text messages, so we’re going to defer to some of those to track events of the past year. The first we knew that something was amiss was when in checking up on her, we heard back on…
10.8.23 – “I’m dealing with Dad’s stuff and undergoing some medical issues, but hanging in.”
11.15.23 – “Still dealing with doctor stuff, not sure what’s up.”
12.20.23 – “Have a doctor’s appointment today.” One aspect of everything moving forward from there was that Deb always maintained her sense of optimism. After inquiring about that appointment, what follows is our New Year’s message….
1.1.24 – “Ummm, not quite what we expected. Pseudobulbar palsy and ALS. 2024 is gonna be an adventure. Talking no longer an option.” This, of course, was just one of those stops-you-dead-in-the-middle-of-your-tracks moments. The fact that we had established this communications regime through texting was ironically prophetic because that had become our only option at that point. Of course that’s one of the inherent ironies of ALS, while it steals away the control of your body it leaves intact the acuity of your mind.1.3.24 – “I’m glad Dad’s not here, cuz he’d go nuts. Seriously – I LOVE that I know authors who make me laugh, cry and learn new things. Keep going.” Okay Deb, we will.
1.6.24 – “Keep the prayers coming – for me to relax and fight.”
1.15.24 – “Feel fine, as long as I sit around. The hardest thing is not being able to eat – I SO want pizza, but can’t get it down.” So this becomes the impetus for ‘Mendon Deb’ Smith (so as not to confuse the Deb’s in this story) to bring our Mendon soup kitchen online and launch our own Meals on Wheels program to provide Deb with something homecooked and delicious while also maintaining the puree texture necessary for consumption. From her personal repertoire, Mendon Deb dials up her legendary Creamy Cheese Potato Soup which Deb absolutely loves.
1.20.24 – “I’m good. Was horrible yesterday. Just sleeping all day. But Thursday was great! Must have been the soup! Cuz I actually vacuumed, did laundry and dusted. Felt great, but probably did too much… Start a new trial drug so we’ll see what happens. No cure, but one of three trials I’m doing to see how it works. Worth a shot.”
1.27.24 – “Thursday a woman is coming over with ‘machines’ aka Steven Hawking. Apparently they think I could ‘talk’ through them. Should be interesting at least. Honestly, Deb, thank you for being there – I’m so confused with what’s going on and how I’m doing.”
3.1.24 – “Love you guys. Deb & Tim-Thanks for caring. and listening. That means a lot.”
3.24.24 – “Doing well, honored by Masonic Lodge last night. Exhausted. Enjoying rest of potato soup for dinner. Door and gate are open. When you’re out delivering, just come in.”
4.16 – “I already love the book. [This was Crowning the Animal Kingdom, which we knew would be right up her alley since Deb was such an animal lover.] I mean I read your preview on line and laughed, but this is perfect. Best one yet!”
5.30 “Will do!” Was the last message we received from Deb in response to our reaching out with, “Let us know if there’s anything we can do.”
We continued to send messages throughout the summer working on the concept that while Deb may not be able to respond, she might still be able to reap some joy from reading them. And perhaps feel the love. Thanks for the memories, Deb, we love you. And, as per your directions, we will “Keep going.”
